feeling very low! / Michelle Wilson (mum)
michael,i cant belive how low im feeling lately, i just dont want to be here at all,i told dad last night i dont want to be here he wasnt happy,which i can see why not but it dont help the way im feeling about myself! not sure what to do about apart from making sure im not here any more!!!! know one wants me here any way,all the girls dont give a shit about me so they wouldnt miss me. just wish i done it the other day now it would of all been over with by now and i would of been happy! missing you so much michael! love you always your heart broken mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Close
im home michael,i just needed time on my own thats all,yes i went out in a piss but im ok now, me and dad just had a talk but he in piss now because i went out and never told him where i was going and when gem gave me my phone i turned it off,i didnt want to talk to any 1 didnt want to see any one,i was out with you so i knew i was safe! but now dad gone out in a piss without his phone,but at this mo i dont care what he does,i needed time and that's it! im really sorry for upsetting the girls i never meant to do that,but now dad doing it! oh well thats life init!
miss you always love you 4eva xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
i dont know whats wrong with her but she stormed out earlyer. she drove off without her phone & fags, which is a suprise cause she takes them everywhere. well after a while gem went to find her & she found her out by you in her van. then mum opened the window got her fags & phone had a little chat with gem then closed the window again. ive texted her asking her whens shes coming home & if shes okay, no answer! ive tried ringing her, no answer! so i thought she just needed some time alone. its been about an hour now an she hasnt come home. im really upset and really scared, i dont know what too do. please watch over her & keep her safe i dont want nothing bad happening. i just want her home with us soo we can be a family again rather then being seperated even tho we will never be a proper family again untill were all together up in heavan. i miss you and so does everyone esle. its got to mum really hard lately and im just soo scared. shes ill,upset and a bit stressy. but us kids aint helping. just keep her safe please mich ael im sure she would be fine but im not positive, no one ever can. love your heartbroken sister always untill we meet again. love you FOREVER and i will NEVER stop and thats a PROMISE! victoria xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx( miss fanny fanny tickle)
let you what gone on the last week / Michelle Wilson (mum)Read >>
let you what gone on the last week / Michelle Wilson (mum)
hi son,just letting you what been going on the last week,
start off last weekend we went up to portsmouth as kelly was doing judo comp,which was a great time to meet kelly joe's mum,well we went up on the saturday night and slept in the camper,there were 7 of us ,as we took friends for kelly & victoria on holiday with us,it rained most of the night &very windy it was blowing the camper all over the place so all fun lol,
we got on sunday ready for kelly to weigh in,then as time went on i text kelly to say i was up and about and to come down any time she was ready,i know texing was a chicken way out but i still dont like talking on the phone,me and kelly all ready said we was going to meet this time and i was really looking forward to it but scared at the same time,silly i know but i was
well kelly texted me back to say she will be down soon where shall we meet,i told her we were still in the camper so when ever she was ready just come knock on the door, next thing i knew there was this lady walking passed the window and i knew it was kelly,that was a very special moment for me meeting this lady i been talking to for the last 3 years about our boys then there she was in front of me,
she brought me some lovely flowers,i made kelly cup tea and was then just chatting about you and joe,and the family's keeley was going to come but she dont like dogs and we took the dogs with us so that was a shame at that time,
then i took her to meet kelly in the judo hall,she told me that joe used to go in the centre and play with his m8 when he was younger,we stayed there for a while and watched kelly fight she done bloody well on her 1st fight aswell,it was a hard fight for her but bloody good,we stayed and watched the rest of her fights again she done well with them,in the end she got silver which was great!
then we left there and went round to see joe's garden,kelly drove us round only thing was we couldnt get out the car as it was flooded,but kelly told me how the garden came about being where it is and the flowers/plants are from family and friends so they all mean some thing which is really nice,from the photos on joe site it looks lovely in the summer well when we get one lol,
then we went back to joe's house to have up tea,while i was there i met ralph which is kelly's husband,we having good talk about loads of things,i met some of joes family as well,then joe's sister came home and i met keeley she lovely aswell ,shame i didnt meet jay which is joe's brother but maybe next time we go portsmouth,michael it was lovely to meet kelly after all this time,it was time for kelly to take me back as her dinner was nearly done as ralph was cooking it and he was doing a good job aswell,so kelly took me back to camper,said our byes and things!
then it was time to leave to make our way to cornwall as we were going down there for a week in the camper try it out,we didnt leave portsmouth till 3 or 4pm,ended up getting to bude just after 8pm bloody long way! we got our self sorted and the girls went down to the club, well what a week,nothing but rain,hell stones wind,you name it we had it,but i was still smileing and laughing,it was fun not my sort of thing really but now we brought this camper we got to use it so its all new ,think we all had a nice time apart from the weather but it was october ,things went wrong like the cooker didnt work to start off with then it did,then it got so muddy me and dad went out and got wellies for every body lol,it was all fun! then on the friday dad had to come home and take gem to judo up Sheffield for the British Senior Trials ,but befor dad left the heating stopped working,it was bloody cold friday aswell first day we had sun aswell lol,so dad left .
girls was getting ready to go club on the night as there were dressing up,then the girls said about driving home friday night so i said if you like as it was so cold with no heating,so i said what time,they said after the club closes which was about half 12 ,great not that happy about driving home that time of night as i not used to driving the camper but it was better than freezzing,so that was that we packed up,i drove down to the club ready to leave after.
then some time in the night i had a text from dad saying the car broke down,he was just passed cheltham waiting for the r.a.c to come out,great that was all they needed dad,gem,pete was going up night before staying in a hotel as they had to get up for 7am,its 3hours to get there so that was best! so after i while i phoned dad find out what was happening,well they were being towed back to bristol as they couldnt get the car sorted,so they drove gem car in the end.so that was that they were on there way again all sorted! so we thought any way!
by this time it was about 12 and we were just leaving bude,thinking we would be home about 3am,ready to jump in bed so we thought! any way we were about a hour from bude and i got text from gem saying she forgot her judo licence it was in the car and she needed for the morning,great!
so she was going to drive back and get it but she wouldnt of got any sleep and that was no good as she was fighting the next day!so i said i would get it to her not to worry,then i was thinking how the hell am i going to do that,as the car broke down,i didnt fancy driving the camper but if i had to then i would have to!in the end uncle bob&aunite donna took me and kelly up,we left our house about 3.45am got there half 6!ended up meeting dad about half 7.well we were there might aswell watch the judo,well gem never got on to do her fist fight till 3ish,bloody long wait,still had no sleep since i got up friday morning!i was well hanging!she got on and won her first fight which was great she done well on that aswell as the girl she was fighting she lost too back in feb,then it was more waiting around till she was back on again,well she got back on but didnt win any more which was a shame,in the end we left there about 7ish got home here about half 11pm,bloody long 2days lol! that was the last week,what a bloody week aswell!
im off to bed now michael, wish i could give you a cuddle i miss that so much,miss you always your heart broken mum alway till we meet again love you always & 4eve xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
please look down on mum for mee. ive read a few things shes put on here saying that we would be better of without her & that shes failed us kids. well i dont want her too feel like that. we need her, of course we doo & as for her failing us, well she havent. shes done the best she could & dad has but its just us. its our fault mum is feeling like this & i dont know what to do about it. im really trying. i cant help what i doo, i dont know why i do it. also her back is hurting badly & im confused. first her shoulder now her back. i ask questions everyday like why my mum? why now? thats just like i ask why my brother? why soo young?
i need to try & change Michael. its hurting mum, dad & the girls. i know it is. but im hurting too,losing youu, problems aat school, mum in pain etc. just like everyday i paint a smile on my face but inside im hurting. my smile is the biggest lie ive got.
look down on mum, dad & the girls please cause we all need you here. its coming up to xmas now its gunna b the 3rd one without you. i mean 3 years already. it feels like yesterday when i kissed you goodbyee but i still wish that kiss wasnt too say goodbye forever.
when you left us on the 27th April 2005 it broke our hearts,that was the worst day of our lives.i miss you soo much & love yoou so much its insane. you will never be forgotten & that is a promise. i will love you until we meet again & forever after that. dont forget you will alwaчs be my special big brother.
well im gunna goo now. before i write a whole essay lol!night night bro. love you. see you in the morning.♥ Close
michael,just letting you know we going away next week down to cornwall for the week,we off up to portsmouth on saturday for a judo comp on the sunday,we staying up there the night so kelly can get some sleep,because if we left here early in the morning she wouldnt get enough sleep,it makes it easier now we have a motorhome we can stay in now,which dont cost us to stay any where now,also as we going up portsmouth im going to visit joe and meet kelly so thats going to be really nice at long last! looking forward to going away next week aswell as we not gone away this year,just hope the weather is ok,
also my mood is really low lately and cant get myself out of it at all,the girls is having so much shit lately and there nothing i can do about it,victoria getting loads of shit in school and she not fighting back which i wish she would,but hime here she giving me loads of crap not telling me the truth about things and i cant cope with her no more,also with kelly she take on everybody else problem's on and it's got to her this week so i had her crying and nothing i can do about it!i feel like i fail all you kids and there nothing i can do about it to make it right,so i might aswell not be here they would be better off without me here,thats what i think any way, i know they would say there not better off with out me but this is how im feeling right now and i cant get out of it,i been like it for weeks now,you know how it is ,you put a smile on most of the time but it gets to you in the end,i think that why im coming out in loads of pain all over my body!watch over the girls and dad for me michael please! nite nite son love you see you in the morning xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
having laugh at me / Michelle Wilson (mum)
looks like your having a laugh at me michael,cant belive when i came out to clean you up plus do your flowers there was a frog there,now you know me i cant stand them,so i was then stuck not being able to do any thing,i rang dad so he could come out to get rid of it but gem was on her way out so she came out, as she pulled up she just lissing herself laughing at me,so was victoria & toni who was in the car,any way she picked it up and got rid of it,at least i could then carry on with what i needed to do,lol i can just see you pissing your self at me lol,cant belive it that's the 1st time ever there been a frog there and hope its the bloody last lol,any way i hope you like your flowers! all grass need's cutting but i never had the stuff with me to do it or i would of try and get out and sort that out,long as we dont get any rain for a few days! missing you michael so much always will love you 4eva xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Close
cant belive it michael,we didnt get what we wanted cant belive they got away with it,was watching the time all day waiting for the phone call,but when it came its not what i wanted to hear,worse thing wasi had to tell some one the news,not the best thing i had to do i can tell you we just cryed,all i can say if any thing else happens with them i will not be able to help what i do! watch over every one for me please! love you always & forever xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hoping for the right answer michael / Michelle Wilson (mum)Read >>
hoping for the right answer michael / Michelle Wilson (mum)
michael ,it was a hard day yesterday i do belive you were with victoria yesterday,and see needed you there so mcuh!she done so well it took her all day to do what she had to do, we all hoping for the right answer tomorrow,it will make victoria life a lot better if we get the right answer,please help us get that tomorrow! missing you so much always will love you always till we meet again xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
we home michael,been a long day as always with judo,gem only had 2 fights,she didnt win them but she done really well,the 2 girls she had was good but i wouldnt say any better than her, gem do think she could win them if she comes a cross them again so just have to wait and see now!
missing you so much michael,wish you were there today! love you so much always will xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
going from bad to worse! / Michelle Wilson (mum)Read >>
going from bad to worse! / Michelle Wilson (mum)
michael i didnt think it could get much worse but it has,i been caught speeding so i get £60 fine plus 3 points,that all i need,i know im in the wrong but my life just shit right now every thing going wrong i want some thing to go right for a change! im feeling like shit right now after work yesterday,i been work today but im in so much pain right now,i didnt feel to bad when i got up so i went work wish i didnt now!oh well thats life well my life its shit and i dont think it will ever change!
do me big favor if you can gem got a big judo comp morro over cardiff be there with her michael,this is the biggest she done for a long time plus there going to be some very good judo players there,she good she came along way in the last 2years but this is the big 1 if she could win some thing in this comp it would be great so please please be there for her! thank you michael, love you always and forever xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
feel's like i going mad! / Michelle Wilson (mum)Read >>
feel's like i going mad! / Michelle Wilson (mum)
hi babe,cant belive how much have gone wrong today had to go work 1st thing this morning for a meeting with boss not just me any body that works there,it was ok tho just told us about what happening and stuff! then i got a text from kelly saying her and victoria forgot there lunch so had to sort that out,i got home to sort some stuff out but while i was home maggie got out so then had to try find her,went round and round couldnt find her,then i saw some bloke asked him if he seen her,he said he was working in a garden and he thinks she caught in the middle of the fence so i went to see if it was her,and luckly it was,only thing was there was a dead cat there aswell,she didnt kill it because it looked like it been there for a while she was trying to play lol,but this cat belongs to frank a cross the rd,so not knowing what to do i brought the car back,but i cant just go and tell frank as he lossing his mind he wouldnt understand what i was saying,when i was getting out the van he came out his house calling for the cat,im thinking shit what do i say?then his phine started ringing so i ran in to get it and spoke to his lady friend,told her what happen and i didnt know what to tell him,she told me to wait till she gets there and she would tell him,still dont make me feel any better he loved that cat ,he lives for them now he lost it, well he came over and had a look to see if it was his,i got say i dont think he really knows,he dont know how to dress his self now,he gone like auntie ray its so sad to see michael,but he think's its his so he took cat away! then i was talking to sue a cross the rd,because i asked her what to do with the cat,but while i was there she told me some thing which is worrying really,she told me she hasnt told any of her girls as she didnt want to worry them,but i think she should tell them really. i came back in home and was thinking about what she told me and i couldnt get it out my head so i went round juile's house and told her what sue (her mum) said,i feel that i been told some thing in trust by sue but her kids need to know so they can get her sorted get her down the dr's,i feel that i done the right thing in one way but in another i feel like i done wrong by sue,so im not sure if i done right or wrong!
now karen done my head in aswell tonight,she went out which is fine she is 19 but only in age,well she went to the park with some others all fine,i text her say come home for tea,she asked if she could stay out little longer i said ok, well as far as i knew she was still at the park while it getting dark so i got gem to ring karen tll her to come home,only to find out she gone down the train station because connor had to go back,but she didnt tell me she was going down there so im well pissed off with her right now,she still not back i know it only half 8 at night but its late for her to be out,onther thing with her she keeps turning her sound off on her phone ,so thats making me mad because i cant get hold of her to find out she ok, so today iv had one of those days that i would like to forget curl up and die,i feel so stressed right now,i come to bed to try and chill but it not helping because karen not home yet!im stressing right out here!smoking myself silly,cant belive how much shit in 1 bloody day!
i going now babe i will talk to you later love you so much michael watch over every body for me please! missing you so much michael!
Heya Hunni, I hope you are watching over ur family from where you are. Can I ask you to keep a watch over Jodie for me. She is having a rough time at the moment. Personally and health wise and I am really worried about her. The dr is referrin her to the hospital so hopefully they will sort her out. Its been goin on so long and she is really low. As if that ain't enough a so called friend decided to ring her and do a bit of stirring tonight so she has hit rock bottom.I have done what I can for her....... she needs to sort through it herself but if you can help in anyway I would be so grateful. She is missin Kristian so much. If you happen to meet him up there please tell him to visit her in her dreams. Thank you sweetie.
It seems ages since I last saw ur family in fact it nearly a month. Have spoken on the phone but it not the same. I miss them. But hope to visit with them soon. Am worried about your mum also..... she still not too good. I know things will never be the same for her but she deserves some happiness with all the crap she been through. Do you think maybe you could weave a lil bit of magic her way for a change.
Anyway hunni I better go as it 11 o clock and shun will be in from work soon and want his tea....... no rest for the wicked eh!!! lol
feeling like shit again / Michelle Wilson (mum)Read >>
feeling like shit again / Michelle Wilson (mum)
hi babe,cant help feeling like shit again im so fed up with how im feeling lately,dont seem to matter what i do or what happens i just cant get out of it,like always i put a smile on my face so it looks like all is well but as you know its not,if you can help me them please i could do with your help,i feel like crying all the time but i dont got to many people round me all the time! got loads of things going wrong here as always,why do it have to be us all the bloody time,cant belive life is this shit!cant wait to be with you at least i will be happy again! oh well thats enough of my shit i will let you go bed now!
nite nite michael love you always and foreva xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
TASHA/ AUNTIE DEE (AUNTIE)
HI MATE JUST POPPED ON TO LET U KNOW TASHA HAD THE BABY SHE CALLED HER LAYLA ANNEMARIE ELISHA IS SO EXITED SHE LOVES LOOKING AFTER HER BABY SISTER PLEASE WATCH OVER OUR JOE & JONATHAN AS THEY ARE GOING FOR SENTANCING ON WEDNESDAY WE ARE ALL SO HAPPY AT THE MOMENT JUST WATCH SOME ASSHOLE COME ALONG AND SPOIL IT THAT WONT BE ANYTHING NEW THOUGH WILL IT STILL FOR NOW THEY ALL HOME WITH ME AND HOPEFULLY THATS WHERE THEY WILL BE AFTER WEDNESDAY IF NOT GOD HELP ANYONE WHO GETS IN MY WAY ANYWAY I WILL STOP WINGING NOW AS THERE ARE PEOPLE A HELL OF A LOT WORSE OFF THAN ME AND MINE MY TEMPER HAS ALREADY GOT THE BETTER OF ME THIS WEEKEND AND THIS SHOULD BE A HAPPY TIME LOL ANYWAY ITS 4 AM AND ALL GOOD PEOPLE SHOULD BE IN BED SO I THINK ITS TIME I JOINED THEM LOL NITE NITE MATE LOVE YOU XXXX Close
great day for gem & kelly x / Michelle Wilson (mum)Read >>
great day for gem & kelly x / Michelle Wilson (mum)
hi michael,not long got home been another long day with judo you know what its like at these judo comp's, we had kelly go up first,she done really well but fought great but she lost that fight but she wasnt worried,she in a new weight group now so she fighting players she never fought before she gone from being 52k to 57k thing is she was only just over aswell as see weighing in at 52.6 so it was only little bit over!so it was all new for her,any way she then got up to her next fight,and she won lol,she done great well we all over the moon with her she fought great michael mum & dad is really pleased with her she was well happy with the win,so again we had to wait for her to fight again,now the girl she ended up fighting was 15 and kelly only 13,again she went out and done great gave the girl a good go but she lost it,but never mind because she came away with a bronze,so we all well happy with that,thanks for watching over her for us!
now for gem,start off she not well she came down being bad on friday when she got sent home from work,so she not on top right now but she wanted to fight any way not happy about it but she wants to,and way first fight sweet as you like over in 10 seconds with ippon,well happy with that result! so second fight went the full 5mins but she got her in the end won with a wazari,so again happy but by now she is hanging dont look like she can carry on but she wanted to again ,only thing is she finding it hard to breath as her glands in her neck is right up,but she still would not give up ,but any way off she went for her third fight and what a fight that was over again in well this was little longer with 40seconds lol again won with a ippon ,she was then up for her fouth fight but this time it was fighting for gold or silver but where she got that bad she said she cant fight no more,so she pulled herself out but she went on the mat first then told them lol,thats gem know all the bloody rules lol,so she got her silver!thanks for watching over gem for us michael!
me and your dad is well proud of them both they done great both of them!so if they do read this WELL DONE GIRLS!
but im waiting to take gem dr now but she not got be there till 11.40pm and it only 11pm!
so we had a really good day with the girls michael! love you always & 4eva missing u till we meet again your heart broken mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I was weeping as I read your story about your precious son. It just wasn't fair as parents to have to endure this kind of pain and hurt. Yet we have to keep in mind that God gave you Michael because he knew you were both the right parents for him. Plus he was blessed with four wonderful sisters.
Not every child is blessed with love and devotion. Michael was smoothered with it. For sure he deserved it and God knew that, that's why you were the chosen ones. For some unknown reasons to us, we don't understand the "why's!, Why the children? Why so young? Why alone? Why us? Why my child? Why, Why, Why??
We just have to keep the faith and hope that one day we will be with our beloved child again. My daughter died suddenly in a tragic car accident in 2004, and she left behind her son who turned three years old, three weeks after her passing. I am now raising him, and it hurts everyday not to see him with her. The joy the two of them gave me is to much to describe in words.
Michael went through a lot in his short life, but he seemed to accept any challenges that came his way. No complaining or whining, what a champ! God did pick a peaceful way for Michael to continue on his next journey of life. To go to sleep and have no pain, no suffering, or any knowledge that he was going to die, is the best way.
If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here Michelle. I wish you a nice, happy and peaceful weekend. Remember, your baby lives with you everyday ...every minute...every second...in your mind, thoughts and heart. Comfort yourself with the fact that you gave him the best life you could and he loved you for it
Signed from another Mom with a broken heart, Donna XO
michael i cant belive how i been feeling over the last few day's, i just want to curl up and die,and its not a good feeling at all,im being pissy to other people aswell which aint good i just dont want to be round any body!and that is so hard in this house with 6 of us living here!i think its time i was with you now,girls can all look after there selfso im not needed here,but i know im needed with you i always have been,
i just came in from work and come in my bedroom as i just want to be on my own! things going wrong all the bloody time when will it ever end??????????? i want the chicken way out leave all the shit behind! missing you so much michael!love you for ever and ever till we meet again mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tributes and Condolences
Add to favorites 
